🐾 Purrella vs. the Gunsmoke Syndicate
A Confession. A Caper. A Cat with Issues.
Dear not-so-innocent bystander,
The Syndicate says I stole a cursed artifact. I say they shouldn’t leave cursed artifacts in unlocked display cases during open bar hours. We all have regrets.
This week’s Streaming Confession comes to you courtesy of a hijacked pirate radio signal, three bullets, two smoke grenades, and one very ticked-off Gunsmoke enforcer with a flamethrower arm and abandonment issues.
But fear not, kittens—I made it out with my fur intact and flair to spare. The cursed loot? Gone. Lost in the chaos. Or was it?
💥 Read the full tale of feline felonies and hexed heists below.
✍️ Behind the Scenes at the Tavern
While Purrella does her thing (with claws and explosions), I’ve been busy doing mine:
The Catnip Caper is now up for free—Purrella’s origin story and the first spark of our upcoming cybernoir chaos, Villain Us: One for the Money.
World-building and plotting are underway for the book itself, including creepy corporations, cyberwitches, and one very confusing coffee order.
Oh, and Purrella? She’s officially the ModBoss of our Twitch livestreams. She keeps chat lively and lasers on standby.
🎁 Get Your Free Chaos
If you haven’t grabbed it yet, the Dual Freebie is live on Ko-fi:
🐾 The Catnip Caper
📖 27 Thoughts on Being a Villain
Two wildly different flavors of villainy. One irresistible bundle.
Until next time,
Don’t trust anyone who says “curiosity killed the cat.” Curiosity made her infamous.
— Travis Sivart
Tavern-keeper, word-flinger, and definitely not responsible for that explosion behind you
🐾 Purrella vs. the Gunsmoke Syndicate
Streaming Confession #004: Feline Felony & the Hexed Heirloom
Hello, carnivores and kittens. It’s your favorite purring problem, Purrella DeVille, live from… well, technically, not my feed. I’ve hijacked a Gunsmoke Syndicate broadcast, but they won’t be needing it back anytime soon. They're too busy bleeding and yelling.
Let me rewind.
It started, as many regrettable stories do, in a bar. This one was halfway submerged in sand, smoke, and sins. The kind of place where the whiskey bites back and the jukebox only plays Johnny Cash covers performed by malfunctioning androids.
I was there for one thing: the Hexed Heirloom. Supposedly cursed. Definitely priceless. Sitting pretty in a vault beneath the saloon, guarded by a handful of drunken bounty hunters and one very confused goat.
You know I can’t resist cursed artifacts. They're like catnip... but louder.
Anyway. I slide in, tail high, hack the vault, dodge a few laser tripwires, and boom—treasure in paw.
Easy.
Too easy.
Because that’s when Dusty Jax and his Gunsmoke Syndicate goons bust in—tactical goggles, trench coats, cigar breath, the whole nine dusty clichés. Turns out they wanted the Heirloom too. And they weren’t in the mood to share.
Jax himself is built like a vending machine full of bad decisions. One arm is a steam-hissing flamethrower, the other’s mostly tattoos and ego. He points at me, snorts something gritty, and says:
“That’s our artifact, furball.”
To which I replied:
“Possession is nine-tenths of the law, and I’m currently at one hundred percent, you overcooked brisket.”
Cue gunfire.
Cut to me vaulting over a craps table, hotwiring a hoverbike with a hairpin, and kicking on my hacked livestream as I scream through a back alley filled with exploding cacti.
Oh, right. Forgot to mention—Tumbleweed Town had genetically modified defense cacti. Long story.
Now, if you’re just joining the stream: Yes, I’m currently being chased by six heavily armed cowboys, a mildly possessed heirloom, and one disturbingly fast goat. Don’t ask. I don’t know whose side he’s on anymore.
I duck down a tunnel. Portal tech crackles in my ear. CloudSource—my guy-in-the-chair/occasional nag—whispers coordinates.
“If you make it 20 meters northeast, I can trigger the jump.”
I’m ten steps in when a bullet clips my left ear bow. Rude.
Behind me, Jax roars something about vendettas and vengeance. Behind him, one of his crew screams “She’s livestreaming this!”
Damn right I am.
Because even if I don’t make it out, the world deserves to know that Purrella DeVille went down flipping the bird and stealing cursed antiques.
Spoiler alert: I make it.
I leap through the portal mid-flip, flick the heirloom into my tail pouch, and blow a kiss to the Syndicate as the rift closes.
Boom.
Mission accomplished.
Artifact secured.
Goat: still unknown.
This message has been archived and forwarded to eight unauthorized servers. Viewer comments follow.
“Did she just steal a flamethrower too??” — CyberCowboy88
“I was here before she blew up the cactus barn!” — CultOfCatnip
“Who gave the cat a rocket launcher?” — Anonymous
“10/10 would get hexed again.” — JaxIsMyDaddy
Want more?
Stay tuned, hums. This was just a Tuesday.
— Purrella DeVille, signing off.
I love Purrella! 😻